Read The Cannibal's Guide to Ethical Living by Mykle Hansen Nate Beaty Online


In a remote and dangerous corner of the ocean, the renowned gourmet and food journalist Louis De Gustibus is held captive by an elite chef-and vegan cannibal-named Andre. But Andre would never eat his dear friend Louis. Andre only eats millionaires! Over a five star French meal of fine wine, organic vegetables and human flesh, a lunatic delivers a witty, chilling, disturbiIn a remote and dangerous corner of the ocean, the renowned gourmet and food journalist Louis De Gustibus is held captive by an elite chef-and vegan cannibal-named Andre. But Andre would never eat his dear friend Louis. Andre only eats millionaires! Over a five star French meal of fine wine, organic vegetables and human flesh, a lunatic delivers a witty, chilling, disturbingly sane argument in favor of eating the rich. It's a darkly hilarious dessert to Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma and Foer's Eating Animals-a tale of good and evil, of rich and poor, of manners, madness and meat....

Title : The Cannibal's Guide to Ethical Living
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781936383283
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 184 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

The Cannibal's Guide to Ethical Living Reviews

  • karen
    2018-10-17 05:51

    mykle hansen hates rich assholes. when he isn't making bears eat them, he makes chefs and gourmands do the dirty work. but that's fine, i have run up against my share of rich, entitled new yorkers, and while i have wanted to bitch-slap them on a number of occasions, i had never considered the possibility of just...eating them. but mykle has shown me, with this book, that this is not only a viable option, but the correct one. this is the A Modest Proposal for our generation.because, seriously, there are too many millionaires. someone should occupy them or something. what, exactly, does kim kardashian do, except be orange and wear tight dresses? (although i would not recommend eating kim kardashian. just like i would not recommend dabbling your bare hands in medical waste.) mykle addresses this uselessness of millionaires:many of them are smart, competent, but no match for you or i. an entire second generation of them appear remarkably inept and unsuited to anything. they share a powerful mutual instinct for self-preservation that serves them well, but this glorious structure, this social weave that protects them like a castle on a mountain, this is a building they inherited. the geniuses who designed it are long dead, louis. the foundation is crumbling, but the millionaires can't see that yet. the millionaires are blind to the coming collapse. they look at everything they have, every advantage tilted toward them, and they tell themselves: i made this, i deserve it, only i could have achieved it, my condition is just and correct. for am i not the mastermind who, armed with tremendous financial and social advantages, managed to go from rich to even richer? and isn't that just the most remarkable, poetic, blessed form of righteousness there is? and how could such a wonderful state of affairs ever end??mykle will tell you how, and it is delicious!his argument is that eating millionaires is morally correct. they have not been constrained in holding pens with hundreds of their kind, they were not raised in stacked boxes, unable to stand, injected with growth hormones and forced to shit upon one another. millionaires are the definition of free-ranging; they're as ethically clean as they are flavorful and nutritious.i am sold on his logic!on their benefits to the human body:...their composition is almost exactly the same as our own. any other food, the teeth must first grind it to paste, the stomach then has to boil it in acids to break it down further, down to the simplest amines and scraps of protein, and then out of that molecular wreckage the body must painstakingly stitch together the distinctly human cells and hormones and juices and bones. but millionaires offer plug-and-play nutrition; all the microscopic building blocks of human tissue arrive properly sized, stacked, and numbered. to the human gut it's the difference between a seven-course restaurant meal and chewing on a raw, dead rodent, bones and all.i am being swayed once more!but that's just the practical. there is also the sheer gustatory enjoyment:there is so much to explore with this material. the skins, the bones, the hair, the teeth, it's all such fabulous first-class stuff. every single part of a millionaire is impregnated with the essence of wealth. science needs to study the supernatural effects of this food. it is like eating angels plucked from clouds.angels plucked from clouds??? sign me up! where do i get me a millionaire soup?but lest you think this is all manifesto with no plot, understand that this is also a book in which there are uprisings and murder and betrayal. and a trap.and mykle doesn't just write about this, he also practices what he preaches. i once ate thai food with him, and even though he claims to be a vegetarian, he surreptitiously removed a small, foil-wrapped package from his pocket, and shook the contents onto his noodles. he claimed it was homemade seitan, but i know the truth of it. who makes seitan? your secret is safe with me, mykle... and now, with the internet. shh, the book. you have a lot to learn.

  • Greg
    2018-09-29 10:02

    Mykle's got a thing for rich people getting eaten. First a bear was eating a rich person and then a cannibalistic chef is chowing down on the succulent flesh of millionaires. In his last book the deep philosophical questions surrounding the age old problem of if an asshole is being eaten by a bear should we feel sorry for the dickfuck (this word is used twice in this book and I've never seen it before and it makes me giggle so I'm going to use it) or is it not only ok but morally acceptable to cheer the bear on. In The Cannibals Guide to Ethical Living Mykle once again tackles an age-old philosophical quandary, this time is it ok to eat rich people? I won't give away the answer to this question, you'll have to read the book yourself to find out about the morality of eating the rich. All I can say is that I'm fairly certain that this was (once again (I'm ripping off my own review for Help, A Bear is Eating Me! but that's ok it's not like I'm writing my two hundredth and something vaguely witty parody review written in the sort of style of the book I'm reviewing)) one of the dialogs from Plato, it is actually a plagiarism of the original first half of The Symposium, a dialog that Duns Scotus argued needed to be excised from the Platonic Canon. Scotus argued that the Socratic defense of cannibalism in the case of the poorer eating the rich was went against the idea of haecceity, and as such represented a heresy that needed to be stricken from Western thought. He succeeded in doing so until now. Arabian philosophers of the early fourteenth century told stories of Duns Scotus and other scholastic philosophers going on a witch hunt of sorts to excise the first part of the Symposium, the part of the dinner party where the guests talk not about the ideal of love as they do later while drinking their watered down wine, but rather about the ideal meal. According to the Arabian philosophers a silver machine appeared and out of its raised wings stepped three people, a short Canadian with wearing a puffy vest, a tall crazy haired doctor of sorts wearing a lab coat, and the thirteenth century Jewish philosopher Moses ben-Maimon AKA Moses Maimonides AKA Rambam. The three tackled the Aristotelians' and stole the very last manuscript containing the original Symposium. The silver machine then sped away, and disappeared in a flash of light but not before the short Canadian changed Western Culture for the worse by introducing power-chords to the traditional structure of Gregorian Chants. I'm not saying that Mykle received or even saw this manuscript. Or that Marty McFly and Rambam (or as Doc stared calling him Ram Bam Thank You Maam) entrusted Mykle to be the keeper of this story, or that this isn't the plot of Dan Brown's next mega-selling yawn-fest, but if it's not then this is just one of those strange coincidences that happen in history.

  • Mykle
    2018-10-14 13:56

    To review my own book would be unethical! Instead, I would like to use this space to teach you some useful phrases in Slobodian, a language I know.In Slobodia, the saying: "Pensky prek ma parny" means "I'm so awesome, I shoot dicks out of my eyeballs.""Nadjerzk iz bok majuvk jmme lattke" means "Every time you buy my book, an angel receives oral sex.""ga Shusta ga Tinkniz ip jorgjnosv -- su beemkla?" means "Suspense! Philosophy! French cooking! WTF else do you want?""Piz plz bok th Mjistrbara dem di holtfajad Faggit" is short for "You can't read firewood, but you can burn the books of Mykle Hansen."

  • Michael
    2018-09-22 08:57

    Bizarro seems to be a genre for wrestling with big issues. The issue here is, "How should we deal with the problem of rich fucks?"And, I'd like to point out that the key word here is not "rich," but "fucks." Not every millionaire needs to be offed, but there are certainly a large portion of them that should be. For instance:What purpose does this ho serve? She inherited a shit-ton of money, and continues making more by being filmed (which is different from acting) and going to parties. Money is filtered out of the hands of the rest of us because we have a strange obsession with the glamorous, the wealthy, the waifish. This is an unhealthy, distracting obsession, and we would not have it if we simply ate her. This is, of course, the answer which Hansen proposes: like Aerosmith before him, Hansen says it's high time we eat the rich. While we're at it, we could eat Steven Tyler.[image error]I know what you're thinking: "But Michael, Steve wrote all kinds of great songs back in the seventies! Dream On! Walk This Way!" My response to this is, the cells in our body are only around for seven years. Thus, the Steven Tyler in this picture did not write any of those songs. So, it's okay for us to eat him. By picking out celebrities, I might be diverting this discussion--uhh, monologue--from the subject it's mostly considering: those rich fucks who were born into incredible wealth, with astounding personal connections making it so they can do pretty much anything they want--working only if they feel like it--and thus allowing them to live lives of complete uselessness. Only those who would in fact choose to be useless would be eaten, if I understand his point completely.I can totally get down with this philosophy, and am putting a napkin on my lap right now. On my (mostly) raw food diet, I usually don't eat meat, but I'd make an exception for the housewives of Orange County. Perhaps with buffalo sauce. See, once we eat these rich fucks, the money they would've squandered on eighth houses, fighter jets, and weddings than cost more than regular people spend in entire lifetimes, some of this money would be filtered out of their family's hording little hands through the estate tax--which is the best tax ever, because it's a tax on rich fucks who die. The only problem is that not nearly enough of the money would be relocated into the real economy, because so much would pass down to Rich Fuck Jr. The solution of this is, of course, to eat rich families in entirety. Then, we totally relieve society of the burden of this rich fuck family, and the money has nowhere to go but back into the fluid economy.When we think about societal problems--the housing crash; the overabundance of food in certain parts of the world while other parts of the world starve; reality TV--we usually point the blame in the wrong direction. Know who the real problem is with all of these three important issues? Rich fucks. That's right. This book was decadently tasty, and although the POV made it a little hard to swallow at first, I became enamored after a few chapters. And, despite the brevity, I didn't finish this book unsatiated. The ending was successful, with everyone getting their just desserts...I'm so sorry. How could I resist punning a little bit, though? I thoroughly enjoyed this, and I'm excited to read more by Hansen!

  • Anita Dalton
    2018-09-17 08:56

    You can read my entire discussion here.Review Snippet: "Oh, this was a fabulous book, and it gives me an excuse to create a “cannibalism” category. It’s one of those books that is the exception that proves the rule. Hansen tells without showing and 90% of the book comes from the protagonist’s one-sided conversation with a man called Louis, both of which are in chapter one of What Not to Do When You Write a Novel, but Hansen gets away with it. Why André’s conversation is one-sided is one of those things I cannot reveal lest I utterly spoil the book. In fact, this is going to be a bear to discuss because I cannot reveal many plot elements without just ruining the book.Bearing that in mind, here’s as brief a synopsis as my enthusiasm will permit: Aboard the good ship l’Arche, along the coast of an island called Cristobo, André and his partner Marko have been engaging in questionable culinary behaviors. One is that they serve unusual meats to millionaires. They lure in jaded millionaires with offerings like giraffe, dining aboard the ship in monied secrecy. But André and Marko also have an ulterior motive catering to millionaires – millionaires evidently make good eating and André embraces the idea of eating the rich. But millionaires also have friends with ships and the L’Arche is under siege as André and Marko scramble to find a way to escape. Louis, a long-time frenemy of André’s, plays a crucial role in all these goings-on but that’s where I have to stop. To discuss his role will expose too much of the story."

  • Andersen Prunty
    2018-09-30 10:49

    Mykle Hansen returns with another hilarious satire of the rich and confused. As with any good satire, it makes the reader think while being simultaneously entertaining. Since this is a cannibal’s guide, food is a central theme, but another, even greater evil is skewered — the rich. While Hansen’s HELP! A Bear is Eating Me! focused on a composite of the “working” rich, The Cannibal’s Guide to Ethical Living focus more on luxury millionaires, living in bubbles, floating around on yachts, the world surrounding them nothing more than deposits in their offshore bank accounts. Many Americans see this as some kind of obtainable goal. It’s good to have a book like this offered to them as a cautionary tale reminding them they will really just end up on the plate of someone who has even more money than they do. These thoughts and ideas are conveyed in the form of a monologue. This is another similarity between A Cannibal’s Guide and Help! A Bear is Eating Me! but I think this one has more weight and fleshes out a far more effective plot.

  • Steev Hise
    2018-10-06 07:58

    Hey man, how's it going? Happy New Year! Thanks, yeah pretty good. Well I've been reading this book, it's by this friend of mine in Portland, Mykle Hansen, his 3rd book, wait no, 4th book. It was published recently and I just finished reading it. It's a good book, but, y'know, i might be biased cuz he's a friend. What? Oh, well, it's a novel, but like a short novel, it's a real fast read, although, y'know, with holidays and stuff it took me a while longer than normal. Oh, yeah, from the title it might seem like some sort of political polemic - actually, it kind of is, I guess, disguised as fiction. It's kind of written in an odd format too. Experimental? well, not really. I mean, it's an easy read, it's not one of those post-modern novels or whatever. But it's kinda odd, cuz it's written as if the narrator is talking the whole time to his friend. So it's like 1st person but it feels sometimes like it's 2nd person. That took me a bit to get used to, especially cuz I normally hate stuff written in 2nd person, cuz it's usually kinda cheesy and reminds me of "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. Like, "you walk down a corridor and open the door at the end. you see..." But Mykle manages to do it in an admirable way.Yeah, he's a chef, but he's like a sort of crazy chef that eats people, and cooks people. And he's talking the whole time to this food critic, Louis, who has been following the chef's work for years and has snuck into his super-secret floating restaurant and been captured. So Louis is literally a captive audience while the narrator tells him the history of this restaurant and the island it's docked at and his career, and he reveals the secrets of how they capture and kill and cook millionaires, and rants about his personal moral calculus that allows him to feel okay about this. What? Oh, no, it's not just that. I mean, it's mostly that, but - hmm? Does anything happen? Oh, well, yeah. Stuff does happen. It's not like most novels, where there's like, clear straightforward description of action and events. Not a LOT happens, everything that does could be compressed easily into a few pages, but everything is described in a sort of stretched-out way by the narrator-chef telling it to the critic between his rants and his attempts to get the critic to eat something or drink some fine wine. Oh just a second, I have to go look at a certain passage, I'll be right back.Ok, I'm back. There are some great quotable bits in this book. like for instance, "The more we aspire to goodness, the more we find evil all around us, and inside us too." No, not Rousseau. Nope, not even Salinger. No, that's from this book, that's Mykle Hansen! Yeah but anyway, so there's these breaks in between philosophizing like that where the chef is like, oh, I better see what's going on and get the next course, and then he comes back and tells Louis, the critic, what's happening in another part of the ship, or outside in the lagoon, and feeds him the next dish of gourmet food.So that's the basic structure of the book. Yeah, it's different. I know, right? But somehow it works, and I actually like it. But again, I may be biased. But yeah, just about all of Mykle's books are a little weird like that. They have a sort of structural device that saves him from writing a normal sort of story. Like his first novel is narrated by this guy pinned under a car while a bear eats his foot. For hours. Yeah the whole book. I know, right? But dude, yeah, another story of his is like in the form of interviews, like a congressional investigation or something, studying what happened when these scientists used a new device that shrinks people down and puts them inside an old lady's digestive tract. Yeah, it sounds weird. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why he does that. well, I mean, I kinda know. Mykle and I have had discussions, even arguments, about story and narrative. We made some sloppy little films together years ago, just for fun, and I remember one of them contains footage of us arguing about what the film is about and even if the film needs to be about anything. Mykle thought no, I guess, and I thought, yes, it did. I think humans are wired to want to be told stories. To enjoy plots conveyed to them, by whatever means. Oral, written, video, whatever. Well, no, I think Mykle knows that too, but I think he kind of resists it, or wants to play with the boundaries of what a story can be. Yeah, no, I respect that too, of course. It's an admirable goal for an artist of the written word. But personally, sometimes I wonder if he strays over the line. Or maybe I'm just, in the end, after all my pretensions of experimentalism and modern artistry, maybe in the end I just crave a good old regular story, a he-said, she-said, he-did-that-then-this-happened story. I mean, the problem is, it's kinda like hypertext. What do I mean? well, just that, when you read something on a web page and it's full of links, even if you don't click any of those links your brain is still distracted and slowed down and made to unfocus from the text itself whenever your eyes see one of those clickable spots. I guess I'm positing that perhaps fiction that bends conventional storytelling form too far might similarly put speedbumps in the path of full story-enjoyment, sometimes. Although I guess enjoyment isn't everything, right?Dude, what? Oh! You're even more old-fashioned, you say? You hate that experimental artsy-fartsy shit? Well, like i said, this isn't really experimental per se. I mean, It's easy to read. It's not like Finnegan's Wake or something. It's regular sentences and stuff. In fact, it's kinda just like this conversation we're having here. Just a guy talking to another guy. So don't get the wrong idea. It's fun to read and it makes immediate sense. In fact one of the best things about the book is that the narrator's personal morality is, though twisted, full of really excellent points about society and class and poverty and the injustices of the world. What do I mean? Oh well he basically is like throughout the whole book justifying his killing and eating rich people because rich people are taking so much more than their share and causing so much misery and suffering to others. It's really great. And the chef wants to start a whole new social order where people finally rise up and force the rich people to sacrifice some of their own in a sort of periodic ritual slaughter.Obviously the solution is flawed, but the description of the problem, the way Mykle puts it, is perfect. Yeah, it's great, dude. You should read it, just for the enjoyment of reading such an entertaining description of the situation humankind is in. Totally. Yeah it's a real book, you can buy it on Amazon, etc. Yeah sure, any time. Yeah so what have you been up to? Same old same old, eh? Pretty busy? Yeah, me too, but I always somehow make time to read. Yeah. Well, good to see ya, take it easy. Bye.

  • Vince Kramer
    2018-09-27 13:09

    “Don't Buy Inferior Cannibalism Books, Buy This One. Or I'll Eat You.”The subject of cannibalism couldn't have been served up on a plate better than anyone other than Mykle Hansen. The guy's such a good writer he makes Stephen King look like a big piece of crap. The storyline wasn't what I was expecting, and I was pleasantly surprised. The book is written so eloquently, and is so engaging that it managed to do the impossible - relax Vince Kramer. And it being a kind of guide to cannibalism is something that I've wanted to hear all about for many, many years. It was like god was speaking to me. It made me wonder all about the joys of cooking and fine wine. Which in all honesty would fascinate me if you were cooking people. And until we're allowed to do that, I think I'll just eat whatever McDonald's tells me to, thanks. One of the best things about the book is the subject of eating millionaires. The plethora of reasons why that would be so great was pure genius. I found this logic completely sound, and I really identified with the main character. You could learn a lot from this type of guy. I would appreciate what I’m eating once I know all about the thought someone put into it. I don't even eat dinner, I don't have the time or patience. And this book sets the bar so high on the type of dinner I'd actually sit down to enjoy that there's no point in even bothering otherwise. I think Mykle Hansen has done the impossible with this book - convince people that cannibalism is a great idea. It sure as hell makes a lot more sense than veganism.I'm reading this again.

  • James Steele
    2018-09-18 09:56

    A gourmet chef who can’t stop eating humans, and his novel-length dramatic monologue to his mute companion. He explains what he does, how he ended up doing it, and above all: why the rich are the perfect food.This book would do well as an audio book, or a radio play. It’s written to be performed audio-only, and it’s such a unique approach. It reminds me of Swift’s A Modest Proposal, wherein the author presents perfectly logical reasons for eating the Irish. It’s so articulated and logical that you start to see his point. I sure saw this chef’s, even if only in the most peripheral way.The explanations and chains of logic he presents to justify cannibalism are obtuse, but they make perfect sense if you step back and think about them. I know the weight of some of his statements flew right over my head. Maybe I’ll have to read it again to catch everything. Really, this is a book that should be parsed like the Bible there is so much truth in it.It’s easy to put down because it’s very wordy and little actually happens, but the perfectly sane reasoning behind why eating the rich is, in fact, an ethical thing to do stands on its own. The ending caught me off guard. It’s so subtle I almost missed it, but I caught it, and that makes me proud in a way. It’s a unique work. Forget the Irish--millionaires are the future!

  • Charlie
    2018-10-17 06:53

    The superb game dishes are prepared fresh on the spot, and feature actual produce if you so desire at the exclusive floating bistro, L'Arche. Chef Andre serves a kick-ass Heiress Dissolu, Mock Oxtail Soup and Dessert Juste. My prestigious job as a reviewer and critic has given me the opportunity to eat many fancy-pants main courses in stuffy restaurants, all that cater to elite clients, but L'Arche is literally head and shoulders above the rest. Call me low-class for eating rare parts, but if you haven't yet tried millionaire testicles in cream sauce -- well, you just haven't lived. The aroma will make your mouth water.

  • David Barbee
    2018-09-27 12:49

    Like good satire, the Cannibal's Guide makes you think while you laugh. You'll also cringe, and maybe even get a little hungry. The narrator is Louis, a talented chef with some new ideas on the true meaning of the culinary arts. Louis, like most artists and maniacs, believes that he has a revolutionary idea that will be undoubtedly valuable to mankind. His new take on cuisine will change the world for the better and the answer, of course, is cannibalism. But not just any cannibalism. It is eating the wealthy that Louis believes to be the most humane and civilized method of feeding the world. Louis was once a regular restaurateur, a chef trying to make it on his talents. But he had a strange pallet for food, and in the fast-paced restaurant business he quickly learned the true nature of society's rich. Over the course of the novel, Louis explains how he and a few partners created a unique restaurant-at-sea, unfettered by international laws and free to serve rare meats to the rich few who could afford it. Soon came the revelation to make the rich into the meat. But over time the business went sour, and Louis is forced to present his theories while trying to escape certain doom. His audience is Andre, a food critic he has taken hostage. And while they try to escape, Louis takes the opportunity to feed Andre some of his best meals. The twist is the way Louis describes his theory of cannibalism. He presents it as the only ethical way for humans to eat in today's modern world, and it makes sense in a brilliant and perverse way. Louis describes millionaires as free-range livestock, whose existence should inevitably lead to their slaughter and consumption by the rest of the population. The way Louis describes it brings to light certain truths few of us realize. Mykle Hansen weaves a tangled web of economics, capitalism, and environmental destruction, where eating the wealthy is simply the way of the future. Hansen has also done his research of the cooking world. He uses culinary terminology like kitchen knives, and the character of Louis is always instilled with a real passion for the art of cooking, lending a sense of reality to Louis' otherwise insane ramblings. Fans of food will enjoy this book. Fans of satire will enjoy it. Anyone paying attention to the ills of the world will look at humanity's absurd vices with laughter instead of anger. And the next time you see a sleek arrogant millionaire walking down the street with a silver spoon in their mouth... just think about how good they'd taste with a little fromage.

  • General H. Sassafras
    2018-09-27 11:44

    I loved this book. The title alone was enough to capture my heart and my mind, as an avid lover of all fiction related to cannibals. The argument for consuming millionaires is intriguing (and probably should be disturbingly lucid) - the logic behind consumption of the fat overlords of society seems fair and sane. The entire book is a one-sided conversation, for the most part. Andre, the main character, explains in great detail, carefully crafted language (including a very verbose, refined way of writing that not only characterizes who Andre is, but also is executed perfectly - not coming off as "I need a word for 'delicious' - so I pulled out the thesaurus.) the reasons behind his theory, what has brought him to this point, and how exquisite life is when you're a cannibal eating the Kobe Beef of Humanity.Excellent - I would suggest it to anyone who enjoys off-color, dark humor -- along with a healthy admiration and fascination with cannibalism.Bravo, Mr. Hansen. You have earned a fan.

  • Cassidy
    2018-10-04 06:50

    Mykle Hansen's writing just keeps getting better. Lately each story feels like he's set himself a new Oulipo-like challenge to beat: "Let's see... I'll write a novel about a cannibal... who only eats millionaires... and make the audience want to root for the bad guy... Naah, that's too easy. Ooh, I know! I'll do it using only dialog and no narration!" What really stands out about this one is the distinct voice of the title character, brought into sharp relief late in the story when you briefly hear the voice of another. I would love to be able to write like that! But I won't bother. I'll just wait for MH to write his next book.

  • Chris
    2018-10-18 13:47

    After reading this book I felt satisfied; like after eating a succulent millionaire. The story basically involves Andre and Louis, his bound captive and friend. Andre explains, through a one sided conversation, why he eats millionaires and touts their deliciousness. I felt the commentary about the rich throughout the book was great and the speech delivered by Andre from pg. 69-71, I especially liked. While I enjoyed "Help A Bear Is Eating Me" a lot, I think this may be Hansen's best work yet.

  • Michael Allen Rose
    2018-09-26 11:00

    Mykle Hansen is a true master of satire, alongside the greats such as Swift and Twain. I have to say that. I’m afraid if I don’t, he’ll eat me. I might actually welcome that unfortunate occurrence however, because I’ve read his brilliant book “The Cannibal’s Guide to Ethical Living” and I have never been more convinced that there’s definitely a moral argument to be made for eating human flesh.The book follows Louis, a disgraced world-class chef as he delivers a long and powerful monologue to his captured friend and colleague, the food critic Andre De Gustibus. Hansen’s prose flows off the page like an expertly delivered and well-acted one-man show. The authorial voice is so strong, so perfectly executed, and so hilariously unique that it’s difficult not to start reading the book aloud to yourself. This is a book that’s equally comfortable being read or performed.The book is divided into chapters via the delivery of various dishes and courses to the poor captured Andre, as Louis tries to explain his position. As this is going on, Hansen cleverly reveals the history between these two men, and how they are inextricably linked through their love of cuisine. The clues are planted throughout the book, but the wonderful way in which the book finally reveals the full scope of the relationship between Andre and Louis is pure genius. As readers, we are also treated to a slightly more omniscient point of view than poor Andre, so we get to watch as the subtleties of his slowly crumbling life add up, and we get to experience the terror of Louis’s “business partner” Marco stalking the deck just above the pair, psychotic, deranged, dangerous and hungry for fillet of food critic.The fictional aspects of the story aside, the book also reads as a classic argument style philosophical treatise, which is where it truly succeeds as satire. It’s easy to understand that a social debate is raging here, chopped up in the same pot as the carrots and potatoes of a rollicking great story. No heavy-handed thematic bashing here – instead Hansen willfully pulls us into a very likeable (but insane) character’s world and we’re forced to listen. As we do, we’re forced to also examine our eating habits, our place in the food chain, and most of all our socioeconomic status and how that affects who are the predators and who are the prey. Hansen also uses a number of very specific details that show a true understanding of the world and culture. The reader is given an interesting back-story for the inhabitants of the nearby island, a great number of excellent food and wine references, and of course a deep character mystery to study.The writing is extremely strong, the plot manic and bizarre, and the characters likeable. Mykle Hansen at his best: This is grade A meat, right here. Highly recommended!

  • Jess-i-ca ~Sometimes a Gif Witch~
    2018-10-04 12:06

  • Adrianne
    2018-09-27 12:56

    Mykle Hansen is a genius. Now it makes me want to eat millionaires as well.LOL will definitely get the rest of his books. So happy that I ordered this from the book depository. I'm surprised to like a book that's basically monologue. I usually go for books with many tones and perspectives but this one is just an excellent read.

  • M. A. P.
    2018-10-08 09:48

    I am now convinced consuming millionaires is the only truly ethical diet option.

  • Teresa
    2018-10-12 07:59

    Wowza...A modern day 'Modest Proposal.' Review forthcoming...

  • Lawrence Carpin
    2018-10-09 06:46

    i love millionaires but i couldn't eat a whole one.

  • Inaar
    2018-10-09 07:41

    nauseating...not neccessarily in a bad way

  • Kat
    2018-09-19 07:52

    Andre is no ordinary chef. He is known for preparing dishes of such rarities that millionaires from around the world come to his floating restaurant in the middle of nowhere just to partake in his delicacies. Little do they know that they will soon be the next dish on the menu. His background and millionaire cannibalism philosophy ooze forth in his monologue to his friend/food critic/prisoner, Louis. The absurdities are often funny and at times appear so logical that you find yourself wanting to take a dip in the millionaire sauce. This is the second book I have read by Sir Hansen, and I have to say that I love his writing. Not only does he come up with unique subjects, but Hansen's humor is well executed. I am a huge bizarro fan and have read many books by numerous authors. There is almost nothing that I have read that I didn't care for, but I have to give Mykle Hansen some major props; I really feel that he is probably the best writer of the bizarro authors. I am not referencing story lines or saying that the other writers have poor grammar (I love all the bizarro authors). No, that is not what I'm talking about. Just discussing quality of writing (word choice, sentence structure, wit, etc)...he really has a talent. All I can say is: Read Mykle Hansen.

  • Dodo
    2018-10-13 13:07

    This is a book To Absolutely Be Read, even if you think you do not like it. It`s deadly logical, yet not boring at all. If you read and think and draw certain parallels, it would help you understand quite a few things, psychology and political economy included. And ethics, of course! Not the Art of Cookery, though. There`s more to true culinary expertise than lots of talk of recipes and methods and wines. Well, maybe that`s the point, in this particular case. The Chef may love to sing of and poetize good food, but he might not want to disclose his trade secrets...It might also aid in understanding yourself, provided your sense of humour is of the right kind. At least, you would know whether you are likely to eat millionaires, and on what grounds if so.I would prefer the book to be a tad more scary, but, on the other hand, making it scary would most probably make it less instructional. The real drawback of the book is using millionaires rather than billionaires. See, mere millionaires have long been pauperized by the Truly Rich, and therefore they cannot taste good enough.I do recommend this book! It is a treat. To a gourmand, in any case...

  • Dave Anderson
    2018-09-24 10:50

    Doesn't get more creative and original then a vegan madman slowing eating a food journalist because he's a addicted to eating millionaires.

  • Jay Slayton-Joslin
    2018-09-24 11:48

    It gets really good in the second half but not as great as Hansen's other books. I get the impression that he found it important to write.